Wish I was old enough to wield a cane, so I can hit young people all day without repercussions. For now an umbrella based on the amber cane from Jurassic Park will suffice, mostly because it should still do a lot of damage to those meddling kids.

The canopy would have a Jurassic Park logo of some kind, probably something along the lines of “Welcome to Jurassic Park” or another John Hammond quote. Sorry for being lazy and not adding a graphic to the canopy.