Fictitious Food Ideas

Duff Beer

With news that South Park’s Cheezy Poofs will actually become a product available for Walmart shoppers next year, I thought I’d offer up some ideas for other fictitious food products.

In no particular order:

Duff Beer. This Simpsons’ staple is actually available in a few countries (Mexico, Germany), but Matt Groening refuses to license out the brand, in fear that it will incite kids to drink. How about Duff Root Beer? I think the Jones Soda Company would be all over that. The same could be done for Pawtucket Pat’s beer featured in Family Guy. Alamo Beer from King of the Hill too. Fox loves to shill beer, it seems.

Slurm. Futurama had a knife out for soda manufacturers with this spoof product featured in a classic episode, and the Slurm soda brand continues to be a recurring sight gag on the show. I’d like to think Mountain Dew could do a limited run of their soda adorned with Slurm branding.

Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. The cereal of choice for Calvin and Hobbes, well, Calvin anyway. The ridiculousness of actual children’s cereal brands was an easy target for the comic strip. In fact you could say Calvin’s hyper behavior could be attributed to this very cereal. While I would not recommend the manufacture of this actual cereal as described (there is also a variant with marshmallows even), some sort of souvenir box would be great. This item will never happen – Bill Watterson’s stance against products based on Calvin and Hobbes is the stuff of legend. I still want a plush Hobbes tiger…for my niece. Heh-heh.

Powdered Toast. Alright this one would be impossible to do (powder that forms slices of toasted bread), but a gift canister featuring Powdered Toast Man (and maybe Ren and Stimpy too) would be a funny item to display.

Soylent Green. I think this should be offered in milkshake form – like those Shamrock shakes McDonald’s use to sell for St. Patrick’s day a long time ago. Mmmm Shamrock shakes. This could even double as that green milk from Star Wars. UPDATE: You can now buy Soylent Green crackers.

Battlestar Galactica Ambrosia. BSG has taught me many things, like the essential need for alcohol to help cope with difficult times. Certainly helped me get through Season 4 of the show, Ha. This liqueur of Admiral Adama and Saul Tigh would look great in your study.

Sweetums Snack Bars. This food company is a regular staple in Parks and Recreation. A bit obscure to be on this list, but I want these. Speaking of Parks, maybe some TV dinners based on Ron Swanson? Gotta be manly dinners.

A few real ones:

Stay Puft Marshmallows. I bought these from Thinkgeek. The caffeinated ‘mallows aren’t bad.  The box they came in is a nice keepsake.

Popeye Spinach. That’s actually a thing (or it was). And a smart product tie-in, but for the love of me, who wants to buy canned spinach?

2 thoughts on “Fictitious Food Ideas

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