My Less-Controversial Ideas To Fix The American Economy

I wrote over 30 ideas to turn the U.S. economy around, but decided to trim it down to the somewhat tame 16 you see here. I’m just gonna lob this grenade of a post and start working on my next idea, which will be about something harmless — like Sea Monkeys.

1. Tax your banks. They are massive corporations, and yet they don’t pay a dime.

2. A Fat Tax. Alcohol and Cigarettes are non-essential and are taxed to death. A small tax of 1% on junk food, take-out, and other non-essential food items would generate a lot of revenue. This money could be used to subsidize farmers or feed the homeless.

3. Corporate welfare funded by corporations. People who are unemployed have programs to assist them. So why not a similar program to help companies in dire straits? These companies would need to pay into a large pot. If they fall on hard times they can get assistance proportionate to their contributions, not a penny more.

4. Mandate a “death reserve” for large companies. Once a company reaches a certain size (determined by workforce, assets, and revenue), they are required to set aside X number of dollars as their reserve which they cannot touch. This reserve is designated to assist the staff and any outstanding creditors (in that order) should the company fail. Most companies will go belly-up when they plummet to zero dollars in capital. Now the reserve amount will be the low bar for bottoming-out. Either close-down and divvy-up the reserve, or apply for corporate welfare (above).

5. Dividend penalties when massive layoffs occur. If there are large-scale layoffs, then no dividends will be paid-out to shareholders during that calendar year. Layoffs should be viewed a necessity for fiscal belt-tightening, not to relay salaries to shareholders. Share the pain, and maybe next year some dividends will roll in.

6. CEO Bonus penalties for massive layoffs. Like the above suggestion; cutting jobs is responsible management, and is a no-brainer. It’s also indicative of a failing company, so why be rewarded for such a move? This should also be on a year-by-year basis. Share the pain this year and get no bonus. Maybe next year. Layoffs are a burden on those affected and the local economy. Cutting jobs is a cost-saving measure, not a profit-earning endeavor.

7. No more stadium subsidies for pro sports teams. There are so many American municipalities cutting back on services (like Libraries and Police) because they forked over hundreds of millions of dollars to the local NBA/NFL/NHL/MLB team to build a stadium or arena. These are multi-billion dollar leagues. They should build their own venues. This needs to be done on a federal level, so teams cannot threaten to move out of state.

8. Abolish special interest groups — use social media instead. Around the clock, shadily-funded special interest groups are lobbying “on your behalf”. Because they have a warchest filled with lawyers, their voice drowns out the one that should matter - yours. Get rid of these groups, and use a social media platform similar to Facebook to get the pulse of the people. If millions of people can ‘Like’ a Justin Bieber fanpage in a matter of days, then the voting public can also weigh-in on a legislative bill in similar fashion. No more buying policy. Instead voters can deny that massive bailout with their input. This is so the future.

9. End those wars. They are bleeding your country dry. Took the Russians nine years to realize they couldn’t afford a campaign in Afghanistan, time to follow suit. You’ve given both countries democracy, perhaps they can decide if you should stay or go. At least scale back your presence and station your forces in a quiet corner of the country. Which reminds me…

10. Get other countries to subsidize your base operations all over the world. Do you really need a military presence in Germany or Japan? Those countries probably appreciate it, so they should help pay.

11. Roaming UN. Get other countries to host the United Nations. It would be like the Olympics. Every four years, a different country. If no one else wants to bother with this, re-evaluate the UN altogether.

12. Fewer clients. Less money.

13. Scale back your law enforcement system. Boggles the mind you have so many different kinds of law enforcement. Highway Patrol, Sheriffs, County Police, City Police, DEA, ATF, FBI, U.S. Marshals, etc. I know they each serve a purpose, but it’s time to have fewer entities with bigger roles.

14. Tax religions. If they are going to actively fight gay marriage and other world-ending “evils” using your courts, they should also contribute tax dollars that help underwrite the justice system — just like everyone else. I get the impression some of these religions could afford it. One of them is reportedly valued at $30B worldwide (Hint: It’s the Science one).

15. Put a cap on mortgage transaction fees. Much like kids would ask what a Tourism Agent is these days, I’d like to think 10 - 20 years from now a Real Estate Agent will also be extinct. In a digital age, it seems preposterous to pay someone roughly 15% of the mortage price for a few days, possibly a few weeks work. Shelter is a necessity, Real Estate Agents are not. The transaction should cost a few thousand, and be as much an ordeal as buying a car. That commission is better left in the pockets of families, not the bench advertising budget of an individual. Side note: this is based on a theory of mine, in that house listings will be entirely digital and similar to ‘Google Street’, where the seller can post a virtual tour of the home online. The listings would be simple to access and navigate.

16. Ban Gas Guzzler vehicles. If you want a Hummer or Corvette, they’ll need to be hybrid or electric versions. Those vehicles already being so pricey, the cost increase attributed to electric or hybrid engines should not deter deep-pocketed buyers. This should have been mandated five years ago.

I might publish the controversial ones under a pseudonym in a dark corner of Reddit. They are extremely controversial compared to these. We’ll see.