Places That Don’t Exist Yet (But Totally Should)

1. A Communal Car Repair Garage. This is like a co-op artists studio, but for the mechanically inclined. You’d be able to rent a garage bay to fix your car for more demanding repairs. Sure you might have a garage and set of tools at home, but there are times when you need to get underneath the car. Or maybe you need an engine hoist and an industrial air compressor - stuff like that.

Got this idea when I owned a Ford several years ago (har-har, go ahead and laugh), and so often I would’ve liked to have access to a communal garage setup like this. I also think they had something like this in that film Christine.

2. Local Municipal Garbage Depots. Landfills are way out in the suburbs, and require a truck. Or you gotta pay an arm and a leg to some company to haul your stuff away. I propose ‘garbage depots’, which are set up in warehouses throughout the city, much like recycling depots. Garbage trucks that are not filled to capacity would stop in here, and collect junk until full or when it is needed to do another pickup route.

People would pay a fee to drop their stuff off here, but that is the cost of convenience. It would also maximize loads for trucks, allowing for optimal efficiency.

3. Restaurants With Retractable Roofs. It’s not just for sports stadiums anymore! You could turn the whole restaurant into a patio. It would be like that restaurant scene from Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, minus the falling food (unless you have a clumsy server).

Speaking of servers - I imagine they’d love this idea. They’re not too fond of heading out the door to the patio with food, or collecting outdoor furniture at the end of the night.

Also: tall building rooftop bars. Those alcohol commercials lied — you never see those in real life.

5. Themed Drinking Holes And Restaurants — which are actually cool. If they made a bar based on Cheers, the Brick, or 10 Forward, it would be the busiest in the city. I’m telling ya, franchises to be had there. As for restaurants, I’d say ones based on those featured in Pushing Daisies (I think? Wasn’t there a pie restaurant?), Seinfeld, Goodfellas, Office Space, and that’s all that comes to mind. As long as it’s not too over-the-top like Planet Hollywood (forgot about those, didn’t you?)

6. Party Room Conference Centers. This is a building that would feature a dozen or so ‘party’ rooms, and a communal bar and/or restaurant. These rooms would house something in the area of 10 - 30 people. Some rooms would be equipped with large screen TV’s and seating, ideal for film marathons or gaming sessions with your buds. Other rooms would just have tables and chairs for poker or Magic: The Gathering parties. A stereo and a dance floor could fill another room — whatever you need for your party. This type of conference center would promote social activity - a dying art.

If I ran such a place, I’d charge about $100 - $200 per room per night. And if all the party-goers bought a lot of food and drink, I’d offer a rebate.

Hotels have many conference rooms, but let’s face it — these are snooty establishments. At least that’s what I learned from Home Alone 2.

7. Themed fitness clubs. Three words - Pokemon Training Center. All the geeks would be tricked into staying in shape.