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Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 5: Elektra (2005)
The Rundown: Elektra was the surprise spinoff of 2003′s Daredevil film, which featured Elektra as the tragic love interest who appeared to die. I say surprise because Daredevil wasn’t a runaway smash hit (though at least some efforts were made to salvage that film). Regardless, with the complete lack of female superhero films (I refuse to acknowledge Catwoman), Elektra currently stands as the best one to date. Read the rest of this entry
Films That HAVE Been Salvaged: Transformers (2007)
If you have read my ongoing “Films That Can Be Salvaged” series, you’ll see me prescribe a number of cuts and edits that would escalate the entertainment potential of a film. Transformers (2007) was slated to be one of them.
But much to my shock and surprise, someone has already chopped up this film and streamlined it with amazing success. I was flipping channels when I caught it on MuchMusic (Canada’s MTV) this afternoon. I immediately noticed this film had been hacked to pieces in the first ten minutes I watched.
I started watching when the soldiers were getting attacked by Scorponok in the desert. This television cut omitted the entire scene with the phone operator (“Would you like our premium plus phone package?”), the scene of troops scrambling to their planes was deleted, the interior shot of the spy plane deleted, and they hurried the demise of Scorponok.
Then it jumped to the next scene where the hacker girl stole the memory card - she was suddenly at her friend’s house examining the data (no cab ride, no video game dancing). The cops arrive to arrest them both. Then we break to Sam on the phone with his friend, and then he was running out of the house on his bike. The scene literally transitioned with audio of Sam on the phone while the arrests took place.
It goes on and on like this. I thought it was a TBS-like censor cut to remove the swears and violence, but literally this a chop job to get the running time down substantially. And it worked, all the fat has been removed, the film moves at even more break-neck pace. I was quite impressed. Less human chatter, more robots.
I’m guessing the film’s original run time of 2 hours and 24 minutes is not TV friendly. According to MuchMusic’s TV listings the time slot for the film is 2 hours, meaning they chopped out something in the neighborhood of 40 - 60 minutes(!) to accommodate commercials. Even if it aired commercial-free, that’s 25 minutes they would have to excise, no easy feat.
So kudos to whoever chopped up the film for television. I’d love to get a cut of this.
Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 4: X-Men The Last Stand (2006)
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The Rundown: After Bryan Singer departed to helm Superman Returns, Fox brought in Brett Ratner to close out the X-Men trilogy (sorta, with Wolverine 2 and X-Men First Class on the way). The result: an okay film that doesn’t quite live up to the lofty heights set by its predecessor, X-Men United.
What made it great: Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine was the most popular and compelling character in the franchise, and that continued here. Other standouts like Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart afforded X3 some much-needed credibility. Kelsey Grammer’s turn as Beast was inspired casting.
What can be fixed: Too many useless mutants. If there are means to get rid of some of Magneto’s more toothless minions, I’d do it. They set-up the whole Multiple Man thing so he could bait an army - the sort of tee-it-up exercise I loathe in films.
Get rid of Angel. The whole opening sequence showing the boy (young Angel) trying to cut off his wings can be nixed. Angel sprouting wings to escape a treatment can be nixed. Angel showing up at the Xavier Institute can be nixed. And lastly, Angel saving his dad can be nixed. He doesn’t need to be in the picture at all. Beast merely has to lay out the exposition for the ‘mutant cure’, as well as Dr. Worthington’s press conference to spell out the threat. It doesn’t even matter if Worthington lives or dies at the end, he is a throwaway character. I often cringe at the plot point that these powerful mutants can only think of throwing him off the building as a means to kill the guy. Just a convenient means for Angel to save the day. Ugh.
Some surprise editing. Xavier telling Storm she may one day be the head of the Institute was laying it on a bit thick for foreshadowing. Let his death be an actual surprise when it happens. Might be trickier to execute, but attempting to make Jean’s first appearance since her escape from the mansion to be by Magneto’s side at the end would be more interesting.
Not much exposition needed. When Magneto rescued Mystique from the mobile jail, they went into this big spiel where Juggernaut and Multiple Man were introduced. They just had to show the guys stepping out of their cells. One is big and tough. The other multiplies. We can see them in action later. Let their abilities unfold onscreen like an extension of their characterization (which wasn’t a whole lot).
Cut out the unnecessary. There was some talk about the army’s response time to get to Alcatraz at the climax - ultimately it didn’t matter, so trying to elevate the stakes with this ‘race-against-the-clock’ cliche was a futile gesture. Hank McCoy’s ascension into the Senate at the end was tacked-on, and a goal the audience wasn’t invested into seeing happen.The funeral was a mixed-bag, as seeing the name Scott Summers on a tombstone seemed like a grand gesture for such a token, almost forgettable death by the time the end of the film rolls around.
Would these changes improve the film? I believe they would. By getting rid of the Angel character and the related story arc, you’d have a leaner film that would be more focused on the two major plots: The Cure, and the Phoenix Saga. But even if a major edit occurred, X3 would still live in the shadow of X2.
Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 3: Superman Returns (2006)
Films That Can Be Salvaged is an ongoing series where I prescribe some changes, be it cosmetic or invasive surgery, to help elevate a film’s potential. This week: Superman Returns.
The Rundown: After many canceled production attempts to return Superman to the big screen, Bryan Singer took the Director’s relay torch from Tim Burton and Kevin Smith and crossed the finish line with 2006′s Superman Returns. The film was good, not great, and ended up banking almost exactly what Batman Begins made the year before. Despite the comparable box office gross, Warner Bros. declined to green-light a sequel.
What made it great: Brandon Routh surpassed everyone’s expectations (and silenced doubts) for being an unknown cast into the title role of a major tentpole film. So much so, fans are campaigning to have him cast in the upcoming reboot of the Superman franchise (slated for 2012). Also, the production values made this a very slick-looking film.
What can be fixed: I had no issues with the cast at all. And this wasn’t a horrible film like 1997′s Batman and Robin, a film by which I measure all bad Superhero films, so I usually don’t condemn too many. There are a few things that can help elevate this film.
Remove the homage. That means no John Williams original Superman score, and as very few references to the Reeves quadrilogy as possible. The exercise of injecting the sound and feel of the prior Superman franchise invited too many comparisons, and sort of blurred the lines between sequel and reboot. I think it’s great to recognize the past, but not to emulate it. If you look at the recent Star Trek film, they had their own theme music (the credits revealed the original score), and just the right mix of old and new to establish itself as a new unique identity.
Loose the cheese. The cannibalistic Pomeranian that started the film? The gag seemed to belong to another genre of film entirely. There are other bits of humor between Lex and his minions that seemed to undermine the threat they were trying to portray as well.
You chickened out! I thought the 5-year gap in which Superman left earth was an interesting time frame, meaning he’d be barely absent when the Sept 11th attacks occurred. I would have liked to have seen him struggle with that event. It was sort of hinted when Clark was flipping through the news on TV and he was rather shaken with all that has transpired in his absence. I think spelling out the event in some form would have added some real-world weight to the film. I’d like to think they were going for this, but backed out and decided to hint at it, and then made the opening plane rescue as an audience-grabbing gesture that alluded to 9/11.
That controversial son. I do like it when films try to do something not quite seen before in the comics. This seemed like a fresh angle for the Man of Steel to cope with, but it wasn’t handled right, and the ‘big surprise’ the kid was in fact Supe’s was anything but. With some skillful editing, the kid can be entirely portrayed as Lois and her husband’s, or merely reduced to a cameo. I’m not entirely sure in this area myself, but there is room for improvement here.
Lex Luthor on a deserted island to finish the film? Seemed very cartoon-ish to me. When Darth Vader careened into space at the end of the first Star Wars, I didn’t need to be explicitly told where he ended up. I guess everything has to spelled-out for audiences these days.
More action. Even Routh has been quoted as saying for the (now-dead) sequel, he’d get to punch someone or something. This film sort of missed that defining strike. I’m not one to prescribe a massive re-shoot to fix a film, but there has to be way to insert some sort of action. Take that “get-shot-in-the-eyeball” scene on the rooftop, which cut away from Supes and the Robber looking at each after this gunshot took place. I’d add a close-up of Supes grabbing the gun at lightning speed and crumpling it to bits. Something that clearly says that was a bad move.
I think these edits would make Superman Returns its own franchise, and trim the fat. It would also better position this film for a sequel, but that ship has already sailed.
Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 2: King Kong (2005)
The Rundown: King Kong was Peter Jackson’s followup to his acclaimed Lord of the Rings trilogy, and his dream film. It was a solid commercial and critical success for Jackson and Universal Studios.
What made it great: Skull Island, the real star of the movie. Once the film set foot on the island, all heck breaks loose, and the film literally became one action scene followed by another for a few hours. There were a lot of creatures and WTF moments making for an entertaining thrill-ride.
What can be fixed: I’m not going to prescribe re-casting the film, let’s be reasonable! I will say Jack Black did seem a bit out of place - I would have went for Paul Giamatti instead - he pulls off the ‘crazed-scheming’ very well. And Adrien Brody, while good, didn’t seem to be the heroic classical lead a film like King Kong warrants.
As for what can be fixed: the length and uneven pacing of the film. It took way too long to get to Skull Island, and once there it was a non-stop action scene, with very few breathers for the audience.
I would start the film on the boat ride to Skull Island. And once there, I’d then sprinkle a few flashbacks of New York (footage from the first hour of the film) throughout to help the audience catch their breath and to provide some much-needed characterization that sort of went absent on Skull Island. Basically chop the film up and piece it together is some crazed Tarantino-inspired chronological remix.
I think a shortened running time, with a balanced story flow will improve upon an already great film, and add a lot of replay value. As it currently stands in my opinion, King Kong is one of those films you can watch once or twice, or in a selective fashion (skipping to the good parts), and be done with.
Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 1: The Punisher (2004)
The Rundown: Released in 2004, The Punisher was a reboot of the anti-hero franchise, originally brought to screens in 1989 featuring Dolph Lundgren as the title character. This time, Thomas Jane takes over as Frank Castle, out to avenge the brutal massacre of his family.
What made it great: This is sort of a video game movie at heart. You have a hierarchy of bad guys that lead up to the big boss-man, Howard Saint (played by a lively John Travolta). There were some cool assassins in Harry Heck and The Russian that seem almost “end boss”-like.
Besides one of the greatest fight scenes ever (against The Russian), there were plenty of other scenes that were memorable and entertaining. The ‘torture’ scene was hilarious and brilliant. Just about every action scene was well done.
What can be fixed: There are a few scenes that can be deleted. First, the whole opening setup with Castle’s undercover sting leading to the death of Saint’s son doesn’t need to be there. It is far too contrived - the son was a last-minute tag-along, his death the result of a few baffling police breakdowns. The film could actually start at the son’s funeral, where Castle’s identity is revealed, he is recognized as being responsible for the death of Saint’s son, which results in the retaliation hit on Castle and his family being ordered.
One more scene can be excised: the way-over-the-top “cars exploding in the shape of a skull” shot at the end was gimmicky and the effects were not very well done. The film doesn’t really need this sort of ‘Crow’ moment.
And lastly, there were was some horrible, completely out-of-place score music in a film that was supposed to be a dark, brooding action film. Mainly, the ‘theme’ music was very silly, like a 50′s superhero theme (think Mighty Mouse). This theme is extremely noticeable after Castle blows up a boat carrying a drug shipment, and he walks into frame to ‘intimidate’ Saint’s other son. The musical cue in this scene was terrible. A few somber notes would have sufficed.
Would these changes improve the film? I think many films would benefit from some tweaks, and The Punisher was just short of greatness - though it is still a mild cult favorite. These edits would remove the lower-end cheeziness, and still preserve a lot of the film’s memorable oddities - like it’s eye-rolling one-liners: “She had to catch a train.”
