UPDATE: You can now grab one here.
Argh. Nobody makes this. Not even those Etsy folks! This should be like, the top-selling ring in the whole world (for people 28 and older).
The main reason I am disappointed by this discovery: my henchmen have been really goofing around lately. I feel that if I wielded this ring, I can slam my fist down repeatedly and they’d pay attention and shake in their boots. I’m sure you can relate.