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Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 9: The Last Starfighter
Salvageable Films is a series where I stop finger-painting for a few minutes and armchair quarterback a feature film that fell just shy of greatness.
The Rundown: The Last Starfighter is a film that bowed in 1984, doing moderately well but not setting the world on fire at the time, certainly not enough to warrant a sequel (until somewhat recently, but those plans have stalled). It trumpeted cutting-edge CG at the time of its release, but nowadays the film is more renowned for its story and usage of video games to propel said story, endearing the film to geeks of all ages. Given the film’s success and notoriety, it would be difficult to call it a cult film, but given its age it has an impressive following that is every bit as strong as most cult films.
What made it great: While the FX blew my socks off when I was a kid, I’ve come to realize that what made it great was Robert Preston’s memorable turn as Centauri. I cannot recall another instance in the history of cinema where a character had the showmanship that beckoned the audience to step right up and see what’s behind the curtain. If you’re a kid, that suckered you in. If you’re an adult, darnit if you didn’t feel like a kid again. Yes Centauri’s role was brief but he can still bring an audience back again and again. Imagine if we were only stuck with the whiny protagonist for the first half of the film? Read the rest of this entry
A Film Franchise That Can Be Salvaged: John Carter
Disney has already taken a bath on John Carter, so the likelihood of a sequel is pretty much extinct at this point. John Carter was slated to be a tentpole franchise that would be relied upon to be a cash cow for the next decade or two. This was supposed to be Disney’s Harry Potter*.
John Carter is steadily exiting theaters now, making room for The Avengers and Battleship and other widespread releases in the coming weeks (Note: I wrote this a few weeks ago). Can John Carter the film franchise still be salvaged? I think so. Here are some suggestions:
1. A re-release as part of a late summer double bill. Disney sibling The Avengers is one of those rare films that warrant repeat viewings in a theater. In the box office dead zone known as August and September, a double bill pairing John Carter with Avengers would bring more exposure to the overlooked Carter. This would be a break-even exercise with Theaters pocketing a bigger chunk of the gross, but the fanbase for Carter would grow and would convert more rentals of John Carter into purchases when the film hits home video.
2. Invoke the good name PIXAR for the home video release, albeit a different flavor of PIXAR. They didn’t market John Carter as a PIXAR film because of the violence and adult themes, which makes sense. Just as I have oft-mentioned that Cars 2 would be better served with a PIXAR Kids or PIXAR Family moniker**, John Carter could be buoyed by the PIXAR name if skewed for the adults. It would need a Criterion vibe; something like PIXAR Revue, PIXAR Cinema, or PIXAR Spotlight. This brand would give the film further credibility and perhaps a spot on the list of Disney PIXAR video collectors. Remember: strong video sales can give birth to a film franchise. Worked for Austin Powers, which tanked at the box office.
3. Acknowledge the different fan bases and provide alternate titles for the home video release. I haven’t done a Blu-Ray design here for a while, apologies. But for John Carter’s Blu I would include 2 additional covers for the box depicting alternate titles: A Princess of Mars and John Carter of Mars. This way fans can display the box with the title of their choosing. I’d go a step further and include those titles as being displayed when the film plays. Yes it would take a bit of trickery to allow for the choice and to swap titles on the fly, but it is do-able. This way fans can adopt the film title they like, and that adds a bit more appeal when it comes time to purchase.
4. Day one Director’s Cut. Film studios like to pocket Director’s Cuts for ‘double dip’ film releases down the road (usually opting to release a vanilla version first). Disney typically doesn’t do that, usually selling feature-rich combo packs to start off with. But for John Carter it would serve Disney well to throw in everything and the kitchen sink. That means a plethora of features and some game-changers like Director’s Cuts or Extended Editions. This release has to turn a lot of heads and get the cinephiles talking up a storm.
5. Supplemental media. This film must have been a merchandising nightmare. The books for which it is based are public domain, and you can’t do any toy tie-ins. How do you nurture a film franchise when the film is such a standalone product? In this day and age merchandise is a huge piece of the pie, and I’m a little surprised Disney sunk $250M on a film that relied almost entirely on box office alone. The Barsoom books were re-released in a shiny John Carter polish, but that was it. Put your Marvel acquisition to work Disney! Graphic Novels and Motion Comics would have introduced Carter to a new generation. These inexpensive mediums would grow the fanbase and expand the Barsoom lore.
This also addresses the lack of awareness for the John Carter character and Barsoom books. It seems to me that the film was released under the assumption John Carter was as engrained in the pop culture zeitgeist as Batman or King Kong. John Carter didn’t really have a built-in audience, at least not in this century.
*And Tron Legacy was supposed to be Disney’s Star Wars. Been a rough few years for the house that Mickey built.
** Cars 2 is not the same caliber of previous PIXAR films. I suppose Cars and even A Bug’s Life could be re-purposed for a kid-friendly PIXAR moniker too.
Be sure to check out the other entries in my “Salvageable Film” series.
Excellent article on the botched marketing for John Carter at Vulture.com.
Films Deserving Of The ‘Special Edition’ Treatment
By Special Edition I am referring to the act of updating a film by altering existing footage and/or adding new footage. The most obvious (and often cited) example would be the Star Wars Special Edition trilogy which debuted in 1997. The films suffered from the additions of pointless scenes, questionable CGI, and ill-conceived changes (Han not shooting first). Spielberg’s E.T. would follow suit a few years later. All of these releases were met with derision from fans. Read the rest of this entry
Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 8: The Matrix Sequels (2003)
The Rundown: An ambitious followup to 1999′s acclaimed The Matrix, Warner Brothers forged ahead with not one but two sequels that would be shot simultaneously and released six months apart in 2003. Reloaded expanded the universe established by the first film, but ultimately left audiences scratching their heads with all the ambiguity. Fans hoped for Revolutions to bring clarity and a satisfying conclusion to the trilogy, but were left disappointed. The end result were two films that did not measure up to the original. Read the rest of this entry
Films That Can Be Salvaged Part 7: Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)
The rundown: Released in 2009 just 2 years after the first Transformers film, Revenge of the Fallen was a huge commercial success. Despite being a box-office smash, the film took a pounding from critics and received a lot of derision from fans. Even the film’s Director Michael Bay has admitted this film was a mess, citing issues as the writer’s strike and the hurried production schedule. In light of the recently-released Dark of the Moon, it’s safe to say this film is the Achilles Heel of the trilogy.
What made it great: Unlike the previous 6 films I’ve profiled, this one is not a good film that fell just short of greatness - it just plain stunk. But if I had to name some highlights: Optimus Prime is a heroic, respectable character that lends the film credibility - reminiscent of how Magneto and Wolverine kept X3 afloat (barely). Peter Cullen should be commended for the voice portrayal. Shia LaBeouf certainly tries to keep the film together, and you cannot accuse of him phoning this one in, but he can only do so much. The action sequences and effects are also very competent. Other than that this film has little than can be declared ‘great’.
What can be fixed: A lot can be fixed. But it would take a large effort akin to the ‘Phantom Edit‘ (where a fan re-edited the Phantom Menace to remove the majority of scenes featuring Jar Jar Binks).
First off, a lot of the unnecessary quipping can go. Many scenes seem to end with a lame-duck line or joke that just wasn’t needed. For example: an early scene features Optimus Prime warning the army “…what if we leave, and you’re wrong?” which is a perfect line. Very ominous, something to chew on - end scene, right? Nope. The scene lingers and we have Lennox chirp: “That’s a good question.” And that jokey line was the last impression of a tension-filled scene. Read the rest of this entry
A Film Franchise That Can Be Salvaged: Aliens
Aliens is a very high-profile film franchise that has not been good since 1986, when Aliens was released. Two sub-par sequels, Alien3 (1992) and Alien Resurrection (1997), threatened to kill the franchise entirely. The spin-off film franchise Aliens Vs. Predators further tainted the Aliens brand (not to mention the Predator brand as well).
To inflame the franchise even more, Fox and Ridley Scott are now looking at a prequel to the original Alien film. And we all know how good prequel films can be. I can write a full post on the unnecessary nature of prequels, but suffice to say it’s a bad idea. EDIT: On Jan 14th 2011, Ridley Scott announced that the Alien prequel has evolved into an entirely new film called Promethius. The Alien prequel film is dead! Hooray!
My solution? A full-fledged sequel to Aliens, one that writes off both Alien3 and Alien Resurrection as nothing more than nightmares had in the stasis pod by Ripley.
You read me right. Ripley, Newt, Bishop, and Pvt. Hudson would all emerge from their stasis chambers, x number of years after the concluding events of Aliens. The stasis pods would lose functionality, causing Ripley, Hudson, and Newt to age dramatically. This would allow Weaver and Paxton to reprise their roles at their current age. Newt could be re-cast as a teenager/adult. Bishop could be played by a CG actor (and being a robot, they could get away with this).
A number of things can happen after their reemergence. Here are a few scenarios:
1. Scientists find Alien DNA in the cargo hold, start cloning, and things get bad. Ripley to the rescue!
2. They return to earth. The Alien Queen’s pheromones permeate the ship, and as a result attracts a full-scale Alien invasion. Or upon arrival to earth, the planet is already under siege from the Aliens.
3. Prior to rescuing the Ripley and Newt at the end of Aliens, Bishop took a detour with the drop-ship and retrieved the Alien samples he was studying in the lab and brought them aboard. The samples are then studied by The Company, and all heck breaks loose. Or a sample breaks loose (a facehugger) and infects someone on the ship while in stasis.
Those are just a few suggestions. But upon hitting this ‘reset button’, the possibilities are endless.
Would it be so bad to outright dismiss the two films in such a manner? Typically yes, but audiences who endured them have already felt cheated, so this would be a good thing.
With a film like 2009′s Star Trek essentially rebooting that franchise in a fashion that overwrites much of the canon/timeline, I think Aliens could also circumvent the latter two bad films in similar fashion.
Last year’s Avatar also proved Sigourney can still have a fiery presence (she still looks great, if you ask me!) and carry a film. Fan-favorite Bill Paxton would also be a welcome sight. The torch could possibly be passed to Newt, but I think such a film would be Ripley’s real swansong.
Here is hoping Fox moves forward with a sequel.
